MARCH 1999

March,6th 1999
     Yes I'm still alive. Despite the heat. :)
     Still haven't got a job, but will soon I think. Almost got an application the other night.
     So why haven't I wrote lately? Got plenty of time to do it in. Just haven't felt like it. I've been spending my nights while Corey's at work learning more web programing stuff. I may tackle Java soon. *EG*
     I talked to my sisters husband the other night on ICQ (lord knows why). What a moron. He still insists that I should tell dad I'm gay. He keeps saying that if his son were gay he'd want to know, even thought when I ask him what he would do if his son was he says he doesn't want to think about it. If it weren't for my sister he would have told my dad about me already. I told him that me being gay was non of his business, to which he stated something about him being a better son than me and quickly went off-line so I couldn't talk about it more to him. I of course sent him an e-mail. I think we may be fighting. *shrug* What a small minded jerk.
     Pisses me off.
Talked to mom on the phone the other night. She decided to keep grama's dog. *giggle* She's having so much fun with her. She's constantly amazed at just how smart Sophie is. Seems Sophie learned to fetch just from watching mom's other dog do it. That and Sophie and the cat have become good friends.
     It seems funny to talk to her and she complains about cold weather and storms, and I complain about 80+ degree weather.
     Well I've run out of stuff to write about. Unless you want to hear about all the domestic stuff. Like I made dinner last night all by myself. Pork chops and mashed potatoes. Shake and bake pork chops and spuds from a box. :)
      I guess I could complain about the neighbors. We have one that likes to honk his horn when ever he arrives so everyone knows he's here. Or how about the Hispanic next door that has his Spanish polka music cranked up so loud it sometimes rattles the windows. *Grrr*
     Oh I know, almost forgot. I knew there was a little kid in Corey just waiting to come out to play, but I had no idea how repressed the poor kid was. This week Corey bought more comics and action figures that I did. *giggle* He was so cute last night sitting curled up on the couch giggling at comics.
     Now only if his job didn't have him so stressed out, he might just be able to stop smoking. He seems to be smoking more lately. I can't help but fear he's slipping back into his old habit rather than kicking it.
     Oh, and I just got an e-mail last night from one of the waitresses at La Serre. She said they fired the bitchy little head cook finally. Damn, I wish I would have been there for that. :)

March,14th 1999
     What's this? Scott updating twice this month? What could possibly happen to make such a miracle occur?

     Well for one, I forgot to add something to the last update. Grandma. I've been thinking about her a lot lately. It's not like I can forget her, even way down here in the desert. Not that I've really been trying even. But she's in everything I do. When I cook something, I remember her. When we see a good movie or something on TV I automatically think "Boy Grandma would like this, I'll have to tell her to watch it next time I see her" like she's still alive and living in the EoN or something.

     The other night I got into bed late (Corey had gone to bed several hours earlier since he had to get up early to go to work). I was all happy, curled up in his arms, snuggling up against his warm body, just soaking in the love, when all of a sudden I missed Grandma so much it hurt. I couldn't hold back the tears. After a good half hour of crying I fell asleep.

     Corey and I went to a movie last night. Before the movie we got to see the new STAR WARS commercial. And it was even played in THX (Lucasfilms surround sound). It was overwhelming. I've been dreaming of a new STAR WARS movie in theaters for years (since Return of the Jedi in 1985), but here I was in the theater watching a commercial for one that starts on may 19th! I almost cried. Not only that, but I was sitting next to my hubby!

     The completion of a life long dream you say? Not quite, but the last piece has just slipped into place tonight.

     I just got a message from mom on our voice messaging that my brother wants to come down and watch the premier of STAR WARS with me and Corey!!!!!!

     *DANCES AROUND THE ROOM*

     What has happened to make so many good things go right in my life all of a sudden? Never mind, don't answer that. I don't want to jinx it. I just wish Grandma could have been here to see the new STAR WARS with us too.

11:00 AM, Monday, March 22 - Patience is waiting for the UPS.
     I never realized how many loud vehicles we have in this trailer park. I'm waiting for the UPS to deliver my new STAR WARS action figures we ordered, and every car that goes by makes me stop what I'm doing and watch to see if it's it. *giggle* I always feel like a dork when I'm waiting for them, but it's like Christmas, and the UPS guy is Santa. :)
     I wouldn't have been up this early (since we didn't go to bed till after 5), but this morning I got used as a launching board by Clio, who was chasing Misha around the house at higher speeds than normal and forgot we were in bed. So I awoke to Clio jumping right on top of me at full speed. *Grrrrrr* And before I could go back to sleep, I remembered the package should come today (last time it was scanned it was in Denver).

     I can hear Corey snoring from out here. It's comforting, hearing him snoring. I'm not sure how to explain it. But it makes me feel safe when he snores. I thought for sure it would keep me awake, like my dads snoring used to when he lived with us or we visited him. But it doesn't. In fact it helps me sleep. *shrug* Who knows.

     Corey's smoking is getting less frequent (at least at home anyway). But I can see where even if I don't mention it, it is taking it's tole on the relationship. Even if it's only in little ways. Like... *blush* I don't know why I'm nervous about saying this, after all the things I've said here before, but... I don't like slipping him the tongue after he's had a cigarette. I'm sure you've heard the phrase "It's like licking an ashtray" before. Well that's what comes to mind, that and it smells like mom after she's had a cigarette, and that's the last thing I need to be thinking about when I'm kissing Corey.
     But the thing is that if it stopped there it would be fine, but it's gotten so that when we kiss and he hasn't been smoking, I forget I can give him the tongue.
     I can see how Larry and Kim got into some of the ruts they are in. It only takes little things to start bigger problems.

     I reworked my old "Politically Correct" website at Geocities today. No need to rush over and see it, it's just like mt Tripod index except there aren't any gay references. I keep it up for the relatives and friends that don't know I'm gay. Corey and I are going to try to do an On-Line Comic Book which I was going to put up there, but I don't think I will since the story we have come up with revolves around two gay characters. We'll probably just get another site for it when the time comes.

     Speaking of comic books, I almost got a job application at the comic book store the other day, but I chickened out (that's the third time I've remembered to get an application somewhere and chickened out). Stop laughing, it's been a long time since I got a new job. It's time for me to get one though. One thing that makes me hesitate to get a job yet is that if I get a job at the movie theater then when my brother comes to see STAR WARS with me and Corey then I'll probably have to work, as that is going to be a very busy week for theaters. And the opposite will happen if I get a job at the comic book store. It probably wont be busy that day (except for opening day is the day that the shipments come in) and all the customers will be waiting in lines to see the movie, and most of the people that work at the comic book store will want to be in line then too, leaving the new guy (me) to be stuck at the store. My safest bet is probably to get a job at the TOYS'R'US. Not everyone that works there is a fan of STAR WARS. Plus that would give me first chance at grabbing the new figures when they come in, and an employee discount would be nice too (not sure if they have one though).

     The other night Corey got sick cause he ate the bologna that was in the fridge to long. About an hour after he got home from work he threw up A LOT! Talk about feeling helpless. I get sick hearing people puke. I wanted so badly to go in and hold him while he ralphed, but at the same time I wanted desperately to get out of the house and not hear the retched sound. He's lucky he stopped barfing when he did, I was this close to calling 911. But he got it out of his system and is fine now.
     My mothers best friend (not sure if I mentioned her, the one that is getting treated for cancer), well she's not doing well. In fact they figure she wont make it to summer if even till the end of the month. I don't know the lady that well, and wasn't fond of her what little I did know of her, but I'm worried about how my mom will handle the second death in such a short time. She does have a very good friend that lives next door that she seems to be spending a lot of time with, so there is hope there, it just makes me feel helpless being this far away. She needs positive thoughts sent her way.