Saw my mom tonight. This week's her birthday, so Grandma and her were going out for dinner. We talked briefly when she got here, we set up a day the three of us (g-ma, me and mom) could get together to go see "Sphere." Things were just like normal (minus my brother of course.) No glares, no insults, no plastic smiles. I wonder what she has up her sleeve.
So after work me and my boss were talking about computers, and I had it all set up to explain about the journals, and "come out" matter-of-factly, but again I chickened out. Had a hard time getting myself out of the setup too. Then we talked briefly about my mom, and again I set it up and chickened out. God I'm a wuss. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time coming out to her, she's not homophobic or anything. It probably wouldn't make a bit of difference to her. It's either that I don't want her view of me to change, or I'm still shell-shocked by last years events. Most likely the latter.
Oh, funny thing real quick. I was talking to grandma about the journal. She told me not to cuss On-Line. :) Me, cuss? Never. So I replied, "Shit grandma, you know I don't fuck'n cuss." She laughed. I'm so glad she has a sense of humor.
11:02 PM - Such is life on the edge of nowhere.
So grandma and mom went out for dinner last night. Mom told her how glad she is that I'm living with grandma and about all the neat stuff I'm getting into on the net and etc. etc....
All right. Who are you and what have you done with my mother? Not that I'm complaining, but I am being very cautious at this point. The thing with my mother is that she tends to go through these diametrically opposed phases. Now she's glad I'm with grandma, before she claimed G-ma was holding me back, ruining my life like g-ma supposedly did her life (don't ask, I don't get that one either). So here I am. Waiting and worrying, what is her motivation, her secret little mind game? What is it she needs from me? Even worse, what has she signed me up for that I haven't found out about yet (one of her favorite games BTW)?
Friday, February 13th
Not much to report. For a Friday the 13th, it went real cool. Got lot's of sleep, lot's of E-mail (thanks guys!) Even got a Snail-Mail from my Aunt in AZ. Me and her are the two artists in the family. She kinda got kicked out of the family after her divorce, but now that her kids are grown (one of them being the cop from last month) she is starting to get integrated back in slowly. I still draw inspiration from her from time to time. Usually when I do artsy stuff for people I just give it away, because I don't think it's all that good. It's funny, the more you look at something you've made, the less special it becomes. Well she has sold several of her paintings over the years (I'm sitting next to some of her best now!) So anytime I get something for my art (Thanks Bruce!) I immediately think of her and her courage, putting her stuff out there for people to buy. I wish she lived closer, last time I saw her she was still playing the mother part, and I was still her youngest sons favorite cousin. We only got to sit down once when everyone else was gone, and talk art. Something I've not been able to do since. Sure my brother was artistic, but he didn't have the patience or the "Creative Impulse" that drives true artists to create all the time.
So anyway, enough about that. And I thought I didn't have anything to write about tonight. :)
Oh, and Troy! Thanks for the "Promo" in your last entry. Have a good break man.
Saturday, February 14th - Valentines Day, yuck!
Just me and over 195 other people crammed into a small building. Course, I get stuck doing all their dishes. I hate working holidays. I'll be so glad when holidays and summer are fun things again. Something to look forward to. My helper didn't help worth sh*t, and he played HARD Rock music all night long (Jimmy Hendricks and some group called Violette Femmes or something like that). My teeth hurt from clenching them all night. Every time he would go out on a smoke (which was the majority of the night) I would push fast forward on the tape player so the tape would be over when he got back. But I didn't kill him! He never did figure out why all the tapes were so short. :) But tips were okay, and I got prime rib for dinner. All in all, I would have rather have stayed in bed though.
There were several other events that happened today that really bugged me but I'm not going to go there. Two of them really aren't any of my business, and the other, well....
Monday, February 16th - Barely
Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I try to get at least 4 pages before I post them, and right now I'm only on the middle of page 2, but since the week is over.... What can I say, slow week, at least where I am. On the net and at work, that's a different story, but I'm staying out of the T V.S. T, and me griping about work would bore you to tears, especially since you read the last entry. More of the same. But tomorrow is a different story. I'm going to go teach the lady from work some stuff about the internet, and later that night I'm going to see "Sphere" with grandma and MOM! Hope that goes well. I'm sure you guys'll hear about it one way or another. Also I will try to get a few new sections up on my site by the end of the week. For the most part they are done, I just need to make a graphic or two for each page.
Oh, and before I go (and for filler since I feel I've shortchanged you on content this week), at the coaxing of my friend Larry, again, "That's a great story, you should include that too. It helps to give an insight to who you really are."
Some of the best rewards I've ever gotten were smiles.
When I went to Disneyland back in '87, I went to ride STARTOURS for about the hundredth time, so my friend I was with decided to go cruise chicks at Videopolis. As you can guess I wasn't into that, so I went by myself. In line I was behind some people who were speaking another language. I love hearing other languages. Well we got on the ride and they were put in beside me. There little kid who was, I don't know maybe 5 or 6 maybe less, anyway he was sitting beside me and couldn't get his safety belt on and couldn't get his mothers attention, so I did it for him, and he looked at me and got the biggest grin, and said "thanks." Just made my heart glow.
Well that was sappy, but true. And it brought me up to 3 pages! :) Talk to you again next week! Oh, and thanks for tunning in.