Saterday, December 5th 1999 - In The Mood
Bryan Adams and Eliot Kennedy
So many 25th's of December
"Oh look! Scott's updated!" :)
I know there is stuff you would love to hear about like how I'm doing with such a big change in my life and how I'm coping with not being single for the first time in my life.
But the fact is I'm doing pretty good at it. So far no real snags. It's almost to perfect. If this were a movie of my life, this would be the part they would skip over and only refer to briefly when the action starts. If the story continues beyond that point that is. Maybe this is the part where they just say "...and they lived happily ever after."
So what has brought me back to write in the journal? I don't know. Just a few thoughts I thought I'd share. Nothing major.
Excerpt from a recent Email:
Me: Did I ever mention I admire people that have faith in a higher power.
Jer: No, you never mentioned this to me. But it doesn't surprise me knowing what I do of you. However, you do believe in a higher power and I don't think you suspect that. Your higher power is love. I journeyed with you as you struggled with your coming out and declaring yourself and knowing that somewhere there was a person out there for you. Even in your darkest days you know "he" was out there. Then you found that love in Corey. I'm sure it's your belief in that higher power of love that is keeping the two of you together.
Thanksgiving went pretty good. Corey's mother decided to celebrate it for the first time in over a decade now that there were more than just her and Corey.
She went all out cooking, and we provided the movies (October Sky and Big Daddy). I had an upset tummy (cause I was a little depressed from last years Thanksgiving) and had a headache (which originated in my shoulder) from work (seems some people decided not to show up for work that week so I had to do double duty all week). But I had a good time anyway...
...Unlike when we moved his mom to her new house a few weeks before. I've always hated moving, but last year added so much to it. It brought back so many memories of January and especially why I was moving then. I was almost in tears twice. But like in January, Corey was there and that helped a lot.
December's here. The first few days of December I was worried about how I was going to get through the season.
Would I be able to get into the Christmas spirit. Especially after last Christmas (although everyone did get me through that one successfully).
It got me thinking... What usually gets me in the Christmas spirit?
What is Christmas to me?
After all I don't buy into the religious aspect of it all.
It's not the commercialism of it all either.
I thought: "I sure hope it's not the weather or I'm screwed (since I'm living in the middle of a desert)."
Is it the people? If so Corey's the only person around that means Christmas to me (that's nearby anyway).
The tree? Not this year. To big for our house. And with two cats (one of which is heavier than any tree we could fit in this place), forget it.
The Music? Seems kinda outta place in all this Sunshine.
Gifts? Every payday we get stuff.
So far it's not looking good.
Turns out I was all wrong. I know, cause I'm very much in the Christmas mood!! :)
There's a radio station here that started playing Christmas music on Thanksgiving. I've been listening to it as much as possible since the day after Thanksgiving.
But that wasn't working.
It wasn't till I heard Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton sing "Christmas To Remember" that the mood hit me full force.
The next day I bought a shit load of little Candy Canes (since I cant seem to find my signature Candy Cane flavored Lifesavers) and have been pigging out on those as well as passing them out to anyone who looks like they could use one.
And I got a row of Christmas lights to put up in the house the next day and dug out my Christmas CD's.
God I love Christmas time. *WARMGRIN*
Did I mention earlier in my journal that I always wanted to be Santa Claus when I grew up? I was a tad devastated when I found out he's a myth (in the sixth grade). But from a certain point of view Santa is real. He's more a happy spirit though. After all it wasn't every day of the year your parents spent a paycheck or two on a bunch of toys for you. And how about the Christmas party where all your relatives got along so well through out the whole thing.
Okay, maybe that was just in my life.
Or maybe only in the eye's of a child at Christmas time. :)
Anyway, in case I don't see you again before Christmas...