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NOVEMBER 1998

Wednesday, November 4th
     So how are things going you ask? Here, take a look. :)

     Needless to say.... This... is as good as it gets.

     I Love you Corey!!!!!!!! *BIG HUG*

Saturday, November 7th
     So.

     What to write?

     I could go over every detail....

     Sort of drag you along on our time together....

     I could tell you my opinions on everything and how I felt during everything that happened this week with Corey....

     But I'm not going to.

     I don't feel like it.

     I just cried through Corey's retelling of our week, you want to know what we did, go there.

     Within an hour or so of our meeting at the airport we were one.

     Our actions and thoughts combined.

     Our pasts were never separate. Our futures wont be either. We've been in love for lifetimes now, and there are more lifetimes together after this one.

     It's what life is supposed to be like. This.... IS life.

     For the first time in my life, I am alive. Completely.

     I LOVE YOU COREY!

     FOREVER!

Sunday, November 8th

All this time I've been searching
Until you, I was lost in my dreams
And I never knew that love could feel like heaven
Watching over me

     I was wrong.

     I've never been in love before now.

     I've been outside love, looking in, but never in.

Sunday, November 15th
     Okay, well three other journalists asked me last night when I was going to update again, so I guess it's time. *giggle* Not to name any names or anything (Corey, Chris, and S)....

     Yes I'm still alive. What is there to report. Corey and I are still in love, just in different states. :(
     I haven't told grandma, but so far the votes for her already knowing, and her not having a clue seem to be split down the middle. I think she saw the ring the other day, but didn't say anything.
     Lets see. Oh, mom told my brother about me and Corey and he thought that was cool that I found someone. Gave him hope after the girl he met blew up on him the other day for no reason. Mom also told him that Corey was a professional hockey player (she just doesn't listen, but she makes up some funny stuff) and so my brother has evidently been watching hockey games with the Coyotes in it trying to spot his brothers fiancÚ. *giggle*
     I was hoping to wait to update until S got her website up and running, but she's chickened out and hasn't put up her journal yet. *EG* So I guess I'll have to settle for public humiliation. :)

     So you say, but what about you? How are you dealing with stuff?
     I'm actually doing pretty well considering. I miss Corey something fierce, but I get to talk to him every night on ICQ. There are times it's just to much and I get a little teary eyed. That's to be expected I guess.
     I keep wondering why I'm still here in Oregon. The only thing I can come up with is that I need to pay off the car and I need to save enough money to move. And I also have to pack up my stuff. There's more to it than that, but that's enough to remind me it's not time yet.

     I got a Hotmail address last night so I can check my mail when I'm down in Phoenix with Corey for the month of January. That and I'll go ahead and change over to it completely here soon, so I don't have to change it when I move to Phoenix. Would you believe there are 84 people that registered edgeofnowhere as there e-mail address? So I had to settle for sawol@hotmail.com instead. I really didn't want any numbers in my email address.

     Anyway, other than the fact grandma has her 82nd birthday on Tuesday, there's nothing else to talk about right now. If you want to know what I'm up to, check out Coreys journal, he does a good job reporting on what I'm doing. :)

     I LOVE YOU COREY!!!!!

Wednesday, November 18th
     Look! A paragraph indentation. :)

     S wanted to see where I grew up. *giggle* Well we were in the neighbor hood so we stopped and she got to meet my dad. *EG* Well dad and I got to talking about my siblings and the trouble we had with my sister and how she straightened out the last year of high school. And I pointed out that we never had any problem with my brother, but that was probably because he spent so much time with me. To which dad replied, "Yeah, well you were always so straight."
     A very quiet squeak escaped from S. :)
     "Well we gotta go now" I said.
     We got to the car and started laughing our heads off.
     I guess he doesn't know. :)

Thursday, November 19th

"Fear is the path to the dark side.
Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering."
-- Yoda

     Took "The Birdcage" to moms for her to see. Near the end of the movie we had to stop for her cigarette break, and she asked me "Can you imagine having to hide who you are and everything about yourself from people just cause they don't understand you." I laughed, and reminded her I don't have to imagine at all. She laughed and went on her break. When she got back she said she's glad my sister's kid is growing up in this family. We have the typical redneck couple (my sis and step-cousin), the gay couple, the single military guy, the highly religious grandfather who remarried, and the single grandmother, and several rich relatives as well as poor ones. *giggle* What a diverse family I have. :)

Saturday, November 28th
Here's how I saw things happening:
     January I visit Corey for the month. When I come home I regale Grandma about all the possibilities in Phoenix and she already knows how cool Corey is. So me moving in March would be no big shock. Corey would show up in March and I'd have me stuff packed and ready for me, him, and Sara to take down to Phoenix. Grandma wouldn't get out enough and would eventually be talked into a home by two of her kids who have been after her about it for years already.

Reality Check!

     Grandma slipped into a coma while talking to my aunt yesterday. *insert joke about how boring my aunt is.* She's in the hospital on a respiratory. If she comes out of her coma she'll be in bad shape, she had a stroke, so she will be put in a nursing home down by my uncle. The car and the house are both in grandma's name. The evil aunt and uncle have been waiting for a chance like this to get me, the freeloader, out of here. I doubt it'll be long before there on my doorstep ready to kick me out and take the car (which had one more payment to be made on it before she was going to sign it over to me (and I just had $250 work done on it Tuesday). Grandma and I have a joint bank account, and there should be enough money in the bank right now to pay the bills this month, but I can't do it next month as her portion of the money'll be used for where ever she is. Guess that means I'm outta here, off to Phoenix, six months earlier than planned.

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