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January 15th to the 18th 1998

January 15th - Guns, Fast Cars, Caffeine, And Children
Well, what an interesting last few days! Right after my last entry on the 13th, I went back to bed at about 8:30 and at about 10 my cousin called and told me to get my butt down to his house for a few days. Okay, so I was a little nervous to go stay with him, for a couple of reasons.
One, he is a cop. Now I'm a law abiding citizen, but for some reason I've developed a slight fear of law enforcement officials. I think it is mostly because of the media and the way they are portrayed. I also seem to lose my backbone around authority figures in general, not to mention I really feel squeamish around loaded guns. Hell, I don't even like it when kids in the toy isle shoot play guns (the realistic looking ones) at me.
So we were taking his car in to get new tires put on it, and he reaches over and nonchalantly pulls his gun out of the glove compartment in front of me and shoves it in his pants so that the mechanics don't get a hold of it. Now it's been years since I've even been close to a gun, it made me so nervous.
Two, his driving. He's a little over confident when it comes to driving, nothing new, he's always been a little to fast a driver for me, but it seems the High Speed Chase training has increased it a little. I mean, he's careful, but he takes the corners a little faster than I would like. Since I was little I've had terrible nightmares about dying in a car wreck, hell, I waited till I was 25 to get my license it bugged me so bad.
Three, his kids. I get along great with boys, but girls and babies make me nervous. Guess what he has, a 6 year old daughter and a 6 month old baby. Well, first thing they do is ask me if I would watch the baby for about 20 minutes so they can go jogging with there friend real quick. Turns out he was real good for the first 15 minutes and then he realized mommy and daddy were gone! So we spent the whole next 15 to 20 minutes walking around the house. Actually we did fine despite the fact they were gone about 45 minutes.
His daughter hasn't said more than two words to me as long as I've known her, but this time she took a liking to me, so much so that they told me I could come back anytime and babysit for them. Woo hoo! I wonder how much they pay? *LOL* By the time I left this morning I had put together the "Barbie Pretty Pink" House or something like that. Now if only KENNER would make a modular Ewok Village that cool.
As for him finding out I'm gay, we were watching "Ellen" and he didn't know Ellen has a girlfriend on the show, so when her girlfriend started acting weird, he was worried she had found out about Ellen being gay. He may actually be able to handle the fact that I'm gay. I'm in no hurry to tell him quite yet though. Even though as kids, he was my favorite cousin, we haven't seen much of each other for the last 7 or 8 years, we spent the whole 3 days just pretty much getting reacquainted.
He really changed my mind about cops, and kids. Maybe he can restore my faith in straight people. Guns and fast cars still bug the sh*t out of me though. He said he was going to make me go to the firing range and shoot a gun, because that helped his wife be less afraid of guns, but we never got around to it. Maybe next time. Just before I left, his wife even said that next time they would work on getting me a backbone (something my mom liked to say to me a lot). She is really outgoing, and she tends to intimidate me a little, but she's a really nice person and one of my favorite new cousins, because she is just a lot of fun to be around. (Speaking about her intimidating me, I don't drink coffee (it's a drug you know). But she talked me into tasting her famous coffee. I'd forgotten what "Peer Pressure" was like. The coffee was okay, but nothing I would ever really want to drink again.)
Between my ex-girlfriend on Monday, and my cousin and his family the next three days, my laughing muscles are so sore. Just what I needed though. It's made my vacation.

Oh, just got back from "Firestorm". Not to impressed. It was a pretty generic action movie. I really wish they could come up with a new action movie formula.

January 16th 12:10 AM
Troy's taking a break from his journal! I hope it does him some good. Once again I wish I was near enough to at least offer a shoulder to cry on. Poor guy, he was really hoping for things to work out with Alan.

Just put up my first Journal entry on my new site (actually it's a song lyric, but the warning I put up states that I'm gay). So I'm officially out on the web, and I'm not the least bit nervous like I thought I was going to be. As long as my Geocities page doesn't link to my Tripod page, my friends and relatives probably won't find it. It's a big web out there. To bad it's a small world. Cross your fingers.

January 16th PM
Tome doesn't seem to be doing well either. He said he was thinking of taking a break from his journal too. What has A3 started? Maybe an "On-Line Journal" isn't such a good idea. Seems everyone is abandoning them all at once, just as I get mine started. Makes me wonder if I should even finish getting mine going.

January 18th AM
My journal is up and running. I wanted to use Troy's "Gay Letter To A Straight World" in one of my entries, so I e-mailed him to get permission, thinking that since he is on vacation, I would be safe for a few weeks and not have to put up the rest of my entries for a while. Well, he e- mailed me back about an hour later and said I could. *Who ever said he never answers his e-mail, didn't know what they were talking about!*
So, with no more excuses, I finished putting up the entries. My life is now out there on the net for the whole world to see. Of course if you are reading this, you know this already. And before you start bugging me about how often I post my entries, I'll make a week or two worth of entries before I put the file on-line. Probably on a Monday night.

E-mail me!

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