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Current Entries - June 1st+

Friday, June 12th
Well sometime tonight after I get off work, O Bart (I've got to stop calling him that before he get's here) is going to show up here at the EoN. The first person I'll meet from on-line. Am I nervous? No, not that much. I was way back when he first said he was coming, but not now. The phone conversation with him helped a lot, and something Troy said to me helped too: Don't be nervous..you already know him..and he knows you. There is nothing to worry about....if you make a fucking fool of yourself..you will never see him again...big deal. Things will go cool though...I've never had a bad "meeting" experience...and they usually always go good between 2 friends.

Speaking of phone conversations, I talked to my good friend DaVinci the other night on the phone. Like he said, it was something we should have done a lot sooner. If you haven't checked out his journal yet, please do. It's new, so there isn't much there yet, but it's still worth checking out.

Monday, June 15th - Bart's Visit
I have got to get me one of those!!! A gay friend to hang out with off of the net that is.

Lets see. Typical show the friend around the coast type of experience except throw in some odd silence (we both have journals, so finding things to talk about is pretty hard sometimes), throw in some hugs every now and then, and a little nudity as well (all him, not me)! And even one hug when he was completely necked. Oy!

It was a nice weekend though, don't get me wrong. I'm very glad I had he came down. This was the first time I've been in a room with a person with the same sexual preference and he knows too. That in itself was a bit weird, but to have to deal with the fact that I had to readjust my mental picture of him from what my mind had made up from the net, and I was pretty tense for the first day. Course I was VERY nervous. I over analyzed everything that happened instead of just enjoying it. I didn't really start to relax until just before he left. But there's always next time.

I'll do another entry tonight with more details, I have to go to work now. Just wanted to check in first though.

Tuesday, June 16th - Barts visit: The juicy details.
"I love your innocence. Let's go play with it." -- Rod Hayes

The plan was for him to call at 9 AM, instead he knocked on my door at a little after 9. Surprise! First problem, he didn't look much like his pictures on his site. Not as tall as I thought, and in three dimensions (pictures seem to be straight on, you don't see people from the sides). I already knew the voice and personality from the phone conversations we had had, so that part was okay, except it was hard to get used to the fact that it was coming out of that body. I tend not to look strangers in the eyes that much, and in this case, it was easier not to look at him. It wasn't till lunch that he noticed what color my eyes were. (BTW, conversation between two journalists is tedious. You know to much about the person already. What's left to talk about?)
We started off the day with finding his motel, then up to Newport to find something to do. He drove. He's a good driver, I only got nervous a few times (you'll remember I have a slight fear of cars). Second problem. He asked me to decide where to go first. Well I like to present the options for people and then let them decide as it doesn't make any difference to me. We stumbled over that one a couple of times over the course of the weekend, but it was okay. I'm used to people doing that one to me.
Lunch, a quick walk to the ocean and out to the jetty, then the haunted lighthouse (which he said wasn't haunted), then to check him in to his motel room. There were two beds in the room. Hmmmmn, I thought. I don't think so. I wasn't about to sleep in the same room with him. Maybe that's how all the rooms are though, I don't know. So I didn't give it any more thought.
Then we went to the rocky beach. I haven't been there since I went last with my brother. We used to hang out there a lot over the last 10 years. He got a picture of me at the blow hole (suddenly that name sounds suggestive to me, I've never given it any thought before), and I thought I took one of him, but later we found out I didn't push the button hard enough. It was high tide, so the good tide pools were all under water, so we walked to the end of the rocky beach and kept walking on the sandy beach. When we got to the little river I decided to take off my shoes (photo op #2). Bart was down to just his shorts. Probably a good two or three miles later we decided to head back. We passed a cute young guy with the top half of his wet suit rolled down. After we were out of range, Bart said "You can look you know." Wow, some one actually encouraging me to be gay?!? That's a new one. From then on he kept pointing out cute guys to me.
After that, it was off to dinner at the restaurant. The waitress who was supposed to be taking care of us evidently got over ruled by the card reading waitress cause we never saw the other lady. Everyone was very curious, and most of them had heard he was coming. I'm not used to being on the other side of the counters, so I felt like I should be working instead of sitting here enjoying myself. After we got through eating, I gave him a quick tour of the restaurant and we were back out to the car to see if his shorts were still on top of the car drying (which of course they were, I think our resident short stealer was away on vacation *giggle* sorry, small town humor). He snapped a few pictures of the restaurant and me, and it was back to his room. I could tell he was getting a little tired. We got the VCR hooked up (it took the two of us to figure it out though) so we could watch "Tales Of The City" that he had brought down. Before we started the movie though, I was sitting on the end of the bed waiting for the tape to rewind, and he came up behind me and he gave me a back rub. It was to gentle, and to short, we're gonna have to work on that one. The back rub ended with a hug from behind though. I don't recall ever getting a hug from behind before. I have to say I liked it. My mind was kind of running though. "My god, he's hugging me. What's next? What do I do? What is he expecting?" I wish I could have just enjoyed the hug and left it at that instead of over analyzing it.
Then I started the movie, and I heard him rustling around behind me and then he slipped into bed. I just knew he was naked. I didn't look back, but my curiosity was raging. So, I needed a good excuse. My back was starting to cramp from sitting on the bed, so I got up and dragged the chair to the bed so I could watch the movie. He was under the covers, but he had that devilish grin on his face. I smiled back and sat in the chair and watched all 6 or so hours of the movie. I mean it's not like I didn't expect him to wanna get necked, I've read his journal, and we've joked about the "nudie beaches" a couple of times, so it wasn't that big of a shock. I just couldn't fathom that it was actually happening.
About a half hour or so into it, he was fast asleep. I know this, cause he started snoring. *giggle* It wasn't a loud snore, I could still hear the movie over it. My dad has a loud snore. It actually shakes the walls sometimes. There were nights that I couldn't sleep when I was in the same house as my dad. And forget sleeping when your camping. Oh well, I guess it'll keep the wild animals away. *G*
It was a good show. There was a character in it called Michael Mouse Something. Made me think of Mickey every time they said his name. Every once in a while, I got to thinking about Bart. There was a gay guy sleeping in the bed right behind me, about two feet away. I was only slightly tempted to climb into the bed and curl up beside him, but I didn't. He did look real cute when he was asleep though. *G*
The show got over about midnight and the static at the end of the tape woke Bart up. I know he didn't want to get out of bed, but I wasn't about to sleep over. Plus, I had to go to the bathroom something fierce. I had been holding it since 9 O'clock that morning. *G* He offered to let me run to the beach naked with him, but I declined. I don't remember what I did while he got out of the bed and got dressed, but I managed to avoid seeing him do it. He drove me home, and I went to bed, falling asleep almost before my head hit the pillow. He left it up to me to pick the time to start the next day, so I got up at 8 and was at his room by 9 (that'll teach him). When I got there, he was still in bed, and once again, naked. It took a while for him to wake up this time, and before he got out of bed I attempted to take a picture of him in bed to freak out a few of y'all, but I evidently don't push the button down far enough, cause that picture didn't take either. He got out of bed, and I before getting an eye full, I turned and watched the ocean while he got dressed. "Your cute when your flustered" he said as he came up and gave me a big nude hug in front of the glass doors. If you think I over analyzed the other hug, that was nothing compared to what went through my head this time. "My god there's a naked guy hugging me!!!! What if someone sees us? Should I be letting him do this? Of course I should, this is what I've always wanted! Why aren't I enjoying it? I should be hard enough to cut diamonds, but I'm not! Course I'm not, I'm analyzing to much. Why can't I stop and just enjoy it?" Not that I didn't enjoy it. But I could have enjoyed it a whole lot more. Instead I stressed about it and destroyed an opportunity I've been waiting for all my life. Why can't I just enjoy things as they come anymore. I used to be able to. Now I feel I have to analyze it. I hate myself for doing that.
It was my day to drive. Good thing too, cause we were headed south. I would have been a nervous wreck had he driven on those corners. I've been plagued by nightmares of those corners for years. There are quite a few that are shear drops to the ocean below and I've had dreams of accidentally driving off them for quite a while.

Daylights a wasting, off to find some tide pools. Found some. He seemed to like them even though there wasn't much in them. I wonder if it's cause of the increased tourism, or what, but for the last few years, there seems to be a decrease in beach life.
Then he wanted a Carl's Jr. hamburger for lunch, and I thought there was one in Florence, but it must have been the new Burger King that I was thinking of. So he gave me two options for lunch. McDonalds or Pizza Hut. Right, like that's a hard one. PIZZA!!! Course it was closed (we were a few minutes early), so we went for a short walk, and then went back and it was open, so we ate (of course). Then on the way out of town, I saw the Spider Web Farm, and had always wanted to stop and see it, so I decided I was on vacation too, so I stopped. Bart seemed to like it, he got some souvenirs and stuff. The lady that works there was very talkative (which really isn't something out of the ordinary around here).
Then we were off to the dunes. He really liked them. After we explored them a little, he got that cute devilish grin on his face, and I knew he was going to strip. And he did. He said it was just to embarrass me, and it did. Only a little of the red on my face was my sunburn. He got a good 15 minutes or so of streaking (Note to self: Never follow a nude guy up a dune if you don't want to see. Eventually you have to look where your going. *G*). I did get a few glimpses of him. Nice butt Bart. *giggle blush*
Back at the car, he checked out the dune pick I took of him streaking. Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of a subject your trying NOT to see? I did manage to get some of his "cleavage" though. Then he got back out of the car. I didn't know why. Thankfully he wanted another hug. It was a good one. I was still tense though. Not so much analyzing this time, but there was some. At one point, I suddenly realized that if the hug went on much longer I was going to start crying. I almost wish it would have though.
Has it really been so long since I got a hug from someone that I really wanted a hug from? Yeah, I guess it has. Sure grandma wants a hug now and then, but that always feels like it my duty or something. And of course I hug mom or even dad when the visit with them is over, but I still feel fake with them. Cant wait for it to end. When we moved to the coast, my brother used to give the greatest hugs. I felt so loved when he gave me one. Then one day I realized that some day I'd have to tell him I was gay, or he'd find out. What would he think of the hugs. Would he think they were sexual to me. Would he stop hugging me cause I'm a fag. So I started shunning them. And after while, he stopped giving them to not only me, but to others as well. I always regretted doing that, but I still feel it was for the best. But damn, it was nice to be hugged by someone I actually wanted to be hugged by. Worth the price of admission (there was a $3 day use fee for the dunes).
On the way home from the dunes, I suddenly realized that I wasn't stressing about "O. Bart Boatwright from Seattle Washington, programmer and minister, whom I met on-line", instead I was just hanging out with my friend Bart. I wasn't analyzing him anymore, and I was being myself. As we were about to pass this one beach, he stated that that was the beach that had the surfers earlier, I asked him if he wanted to stop, "Yea, or Nea?" I said. He said there was a cute guy sunbathing now, and I said "That sounds like a Yea to me!" We stopped, he looked for a staff in the drift wood, but by that time in the day, they had probably been all taken, and then he nonchalantly wandered past where the cute guy had been catching some rays earlier but now it was his friends that were. After Bart commented that one was kinda cute except for the facial hair, I stated "yeah, but the cute one was in the car." *giggle* I knew what I was looking for even if I only glanced. :)
Then it was off to my house so he could get in his car and go home. I really wanted a good-bye hug. I almost initiated one, but there were neighbors out everywhere. I was this close to saying "screw them, I want my hug!" But I didn't. And he drove away. I regret that one.
I went into the house and drank 3 glasses of orange juice, drank out of the shower as I got ready for work, and then fixed me a milkshake and got on-line to check my mail (evidently I was a tad dehydrated, and my sunburn was starting to itch too). And what was I greeted to when I got on- line? This message from my net-mom Larry *G* "Ok, young man where have you been? What have you been up to? How late were you out? How did it go? Is he staying over? Did he read your mind? And BTW, I have to confess that Da Vinci and I have been talking about you last night... Don't pull a Jay and Cody on us, inquiring minds want to know..." And at the same time, Grandma was giving me the 20 questions.

What a fucking great weekend! Thank you SO much Bart! It means a lot to me.

Wednesday, June 17th
So what do you think my mother would say if she read the last two entries? Well how about:

"yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess ssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! way to go bart!!!! too absolutely fuckin' cool baby-you're beginning to learn about love and life-real confusing eh baby? love ya and thanks for sharing-I'm going to go do the mama cry now that my baby is growing up....it's my duty-don't ya know. yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssss cool- hee. can i tell *friend at works name* cause she's been diein' to hear? you're so sweet, and just like yo mama....and eveyone else in whole world. we are all paranoid....for sure.
love ya GIGGLE...
"

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